Good Clean Funny Stuff
The Diary of a First Grade Teacher

Good clean funny stuff is what I enjoy in the first grade classroom every day!

And no matter what the students may say, it’s ALWAYS said with innocence.

An Unbelievable Discovery

Loegan slapped himself on the top of his own head.

“Teacher, I been forgetting to tell you what I FOUNT OUT.          I’m just like God!” 

I was thinking, wow, I can't wait to hear this one!

“Yeah, we’re BOTH Capricorns!”

Milk Break

“It’s time to finish your milk, everyone,” I said. “Milk Break is over.”

Amy was frustrated and said, “I don’t want this straw!”

I looked and saw that the straw had a hole in it.

“I TRIED and TRIED,” she sighed. “But it can’t suck too fast!”

During Reading ...

During reading group time, Loegan brought up the fact that alligators can run fast.

I said, “Yes, they can – for short distances. But cheetahs can go even faster.”

"Yeah?" Loegan said, eager to hear more.

"Yep," I told him, “they’ve been known to go as fast as 70 miles an hour.”

“Ow, wee! That’s fast!” Loegan said, looking at Stevie. “What would you do if one of them things got after you?”

Stevie shrieked, “71!”

Don't Make Him Feed the Dog!

Martin told me that his dog bites him whenever he feeds him.

Although I didn’t see any marks on him anywhere, I played along with him … You never know.

“Your dog shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds him,” I said, entertaining myself.

“Oh, I don’t feed him by hand,” Martin said. “No siree! I just dump it and run!”

Guess What I Learned!

I was absent yesterday from school, so when I returned this morning ...

Weesie ran to me and said, “Teacher, GUESS WHAT I learned when you was gone!”

She was pleased with herself AND excited.

“I learned how to NOT LEAN OVER and PERSTURB ANYBODY!”

* * *

lol - She ALMOST got it straight! Isn't that cute?! And now you know why I had to write down this good, clean, funny stuff!

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