Funny Words of Wisdom
The Diary of a First Grade Teacher

These funny words of wisdom were spoken by my first graders. If they get things a little confused, that's all right because ...

They exist in a world filled with wonder and delight.

Say What???

On Field Day my class had just lost one game of Tug of War, but we were preparing to play a second round.

“We can do this!” I cheered them on. “Don’t give up … Believe it, and we can do it!”

Loegan shouted,too, “That’s right. Anyway, if we don’t win this one, we can win something else!”

Like everyone else, Weesie jumped up and down and squealed. “Yeah, just like my momma ALWAYS says," she screamed, "don’t put your eggs in ANYBODY’S basket!”

Suddenly, everybody stopped jumping, cheering and clapping. At the same time, they all got quiet and looked at Weesie ... and fussed, "Say WHAT?!"

I couldn’t believe my eyes …

Someone had cut out a huge clump of Ema’s hair.

“What happened to your hair?” Martin asked before I could.

Ema ignored him.

“Right thar,” he said, pointing to the top of her forehead.

“Man,” he continued, “somebody RUINED you!”

I shook my head at him.

"Okay,” he said, politely. “They TRIED to ruin you.”

“My friend cut it,” Ema said, stiffly.

"Who?!" Martin wanted to know. "Who done that? Man!"

Ema shrugged.

But Martin wouldn't stop. "Huh? Come on!"

I think just to shut him up, Ema mumbled, “My imaginary friend.”

“Huh? But WHY?” He hadn't even heard her.

He was too busy interrogating her. “Why did she cut it a-way up thar? Was gum in it or somethin'?”

Ema had had enough. She spun around - with attitude - and snapped, “No! Gum don’t post to get in your hair up here.”

She grabbed the hair at the back of her neck and spelled it out for him. “Gum’s post to get in your hair right here! DUHHH!”

A Math Quiz

I needed to know who had mastered the skill of counting and writing by 2’s to 100.

Joe Joe took his pencil and paper and promptly proceeded to the Math Center in the rear of the classroom. He sat where I had the 2’s to 100 posted on a small card.

“This is a math quiz,” I told him, again. “Go back to your desk and write the 2’s.”

He was bewildered. “But I have to look at this card.”

“Joe Joe,” I said quietly, “I want to know if you can write the 2’s at your seat.”

He clenched his teeth and replied, “OKAY! But I’m telling you right now - ain’t NO WAY I can see this little card from away over yonder!”

What is a Ghost?

Whenever time permits I’ll read a book that someone has brought to school from home. Today, Joe Joe asked me to read his book...

As I was sitting down, I read the title aloud, Casper the Ghost.

Ben asked, “Ghost? What IS a ghost, Teacher?”

Weesie said, “I can tell you! It’s when something happens, and  you don’t know WHO done it.”

Martin had a different definition. Hunching forward  over his desk, he clasped his little hands together and quietly confided, “It’s when you thank somethin’s thar... But it really ain’t!”

lol... My first graders' funny words of wisdom keep me going every day, and make me eager to hurry back to school tomorrow!

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