Funny Life Quotes
The Diary of a First Grade Teacher
Funny life quotes fly innocently out of the mouths of babies in the first grade classroom.
That’s because the first graders are trying desperately to understand their world. And they can ALMOST get it all straight. Problem is their interpretation may be just a tad bit off ...
The Dreaded School Accident
Clarissa ran out of the bathroom screaming, "Ooh, Teacher, come quick! You won't believe what Weesie done went and done!"
Inside the bathroom, I looked to where Clarissa was pointing.
“Weesie,” I said, “is this your underwear in the trash can? Are you sick?"
Little Weesie stumbled from around the corner, looking pale and weak. “Uh huh, 'cause they ruined.”
“Oh? What’s wrong, baby?” I asked, and she told me. She told me in a very visually descriptive way exactly what had happened.
“I can’t help it,” she sniffled. “My butt just THROWED UP!”
I Can Count!
At recess, Ben ran up to me and proudly announced, “I can count to 100!”
“So?” Joe Joe heard him and snarled. “I can count to ah... a MILLION!”
“A million?” Ben gulped. “Go ahead. Do it.”
Joe Joe didn’t hesitate. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… ” Suddenly, he paused and looked at me. “Say, how many fangers and toes is 'at?”
My A-B-Cs
This morning, Ema skipped into the classroom. “Guess what, Teacher! Yesterday night, I saw pictures in my pillow!”
How creative, I thought, she must have been dreaming.
"Yeah? SO?" Joe Joe barked, “Last night I learned ALL my A-B-Cs." He looked at me and demanded, "Listen!”
He thrust out his chest and began to sing, “A-B-C, D-R-V, P-E-S, T-U-Z.”
Now he stood at attention - solemn and proud - like a soldier.
Was he finished?
Whenever his eyes riveted to me, I took it as my cue. I want to be truthful, but positive, with my students, so I said, “Well, you … you surely do have good rhythm.”
Joe Joe saluted me and said, “Yes, Sir!” Then, he marched directly to his desk and promptly took his seat.
Now, is that cute or ... or what?!
Funny Life Quotes
Parents send money to school for a variety of reasons... and, as requested, most send it in a sealed envelope...
Whenever Joe Joe handed me the envelope to pay for his school pictures, it had been ripped opened.
The envelope felt light. “Oh, is this everything?” (I was hoping he hadn’t lost any of the money.)
He took the envelope from me and grunted, "Arrgh!“
Slowly, his little fingers smoothed out the bills, and he handed them to me, one by one.
Each and every time, he’d say, “Is that enough?”
Each and every time, I’d shake my head.
This continued until he held the last bill...
Grasping it tightly now, he stood starring at my opened hand. For a long minute, he didn’t move. He didn’t blink.
“Joe Joe, I need just one dollar more.”
Finally, his exasperation won. He slung the bill on my desk and huffed, “HERE! Just go ahead and take it ALL!”
* * *
Although we adults can't act like that and say things like that, I do understand how he felt! lol
That's one reason why I love that because they are so young, six-year-olds unabashedly express what they're feeling - which are universal feelings. I call them funny life quotes because we've all been there and done that!
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