Funny Comments
The Diary of a First Grade Teacher

Funny comments come straight from my diary, The Diary of a First Grade Teacher.

For the nine years that I taught First Grade, I recorded the funny things my first graders said and did. I had to! My kiddos were so funny, smart, and cute! And, mercy me, did I get an education!

Fall Festival

“Class,” I said, “the PTA (Parent-Teacher-Association) wants me to remind you about the fall festival we're having at our school this evening.

"If your parents signed up to bring candy or some sort of baked good, please remind them to bring it to our classroom ... by six o'clock."

Martin said, “Teacher, my daddy said he ain’t bringin' nuttin' to the festi-bull.”

I said, “He isn’t bringing anything.”

“Yes, Ma'am,” he reiterated, "NUTTIN'."

“That’s okay, Martin,” I said reassuringly, “He can bring you.”

“I know,” he said, very disappointed. He slumped in his chair and sipped his juice. At last, he continued, “But see, Teacher, I ain’t no cake!”

Pen Pals? What's That?

My firsties have been working on their FIRST EVER letters to pen pals ...

Here are rough drafts of letters from two of them. (Of course, later, I helped them with corrections.)

But for the time being, I have made only two changes to them: I've spaced between the words, and I've added punctuation.

der wooevr u r,

if u rit me bk, rit me lik ths

cawz I knt red krsv yet.

frm me,

I am a st ran jer

         Deer pen pal,

         i can sa thez.

         mi nam iz Gena nicole Bounds.

         thatz it.

         the en.

         frm,

         you do not no me

Count to 20!

The kiddos’ assignment was to write from 0 to 20 ...

But Stevie had written his numbers really big. There was no room left on his paper for him to write, so he piped up with this funny comment ...

“Look, teacher,” he said, waving his sheet in the air. “Forget it! This paper ain't big enough.”

Weesie spoke up, too. “Come see me, too! See MINE?” She had written too large also. She shook her little head in disgust. “This paper ain’t no good. It can’t know how to count to twenty!”

What's So Funny?

A little later my first graders were practicing how to write from 0 to 20 – all on one page. But then, another problem reappeared ...

SOME of them were still writing the numbers too closely together. They were not spacing between each number ... Their work looked like this: 01234567891011121314151617181920

Although I had demonstrated on the board – many times and in many different ways - how to space between each number and/or word, it was obvious that I would have to reteach the lesson again.

This time, I decided to use a dash where a space should be, so they could SEE it.

“Look at the board," I said. "This is what a DASH looks like. First, I’ll make a dash on the board, and then you'll make a dash on your paper.”

I carried it out, step-by-step. “Then, I'll say a number, and you'll say the number. And then, I'll write the number on the board, and you'll write the number on your paper.

“Okay, ready? dash one, dash two, dash 3, dash four ... " I wrote it on the board: -1-2-3-4

Joe Joe yelled, “Y’all slow down! I can’t hear that fast!”

Then, just as we finished counting to twenty, my assistant rushed into the classroom with her hand covering her mouth.

Was she laughing? She motioned for me to meet her.

I was curious. “What's so funny?”

She tried to compose herself. “I was coming down the hall, headed for our classroom, and it sounded like you were in here teaching the children to say, 'Dat’s 18, dat’s 19, dat’s 20.' ”

Other Teachers and Assistants

I had to laugh, too, because it's true ... There's no telling what sounds someone might hear in a first grade hall. And I'm sure there's plenty of room for misinterpretation!

Which reminds me ... It seems as though every first grade teacher I know will do practically anything it takes to get the lesson/s across!

And especially the creative teachers I work with. They are truly awesome teachers who inspire me daily.

Oh, and the assistants at our school are wonderful, too!

I don't know WHAT I would do without mine. She is THE BEST! And I'm so glad she has a great sense of humor.

We both LOVE teaching first graders and enjoy sharing their funny comments!

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